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To Build a Bridge

The Brooklyn Bridge that spans the river tying Manhattan Island to Brooklyn is truly a miracle bridge. In 1863, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea for this spectacular bridge. However, bridge-building experts throughout the world told him to forget it; it could not be done.

Roebling convinced his son, Washington, who was a young upand coming engineer, that the bridge could be built. The two of them developed the concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With un harnessed excitement and inspiration, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project was only a few months under construction when a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling and severely injured his son, Washington. Washington was left with permanent brain damage and was unable to talk or walk. Everyone felt that the project would have to be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built.

Even though Washington was unable to move or talk, his mind was as sharp as ever, and he still had a burning desire to complete the bridge. An idea hit him as he lay in his hospital bed, and he developed a code for communication. All he could move was one finger, so he touched the arm of his wife with that finger, tapping out the code to communicate to her what to tell the engineers who were building the bridge. For thirteen years, Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger until the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge was finally completed.

Watch Your Thoughts

Watch Your Thoughts.
They Become Words.

Watch your Words.
They Become Actions.

Watch Your Actions.
They Become Habits.

Watch Your Habits.
They Become Character.

Watch Your Character.
For It Becomes Your Destiny.

Letting Go

There's nothing to fear --- you're as good as the best,
As strong as the mightiest, too.
You can win in every battle or test;
For there's no one just like you.
There's only one you in the world today;
So nobody else, you see,
Can do your work in as fine a way:
You're the only you there'll be !

So face the world, and all life is yours
To conquer and love and live:
And you'll find the happiness that endures
In just the measure you give;
There's nothing too good for you to possess,
Nor heights where you cannot go:
Your power is more than belief or guess ---
It is something you have to know.

There is nothing to fear --- you can and you will.
For you are the invincible you.
Set your foot on the highest hill ---
There's nothing you cannot do.

Listen

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen ! All I asked was that you listen, not to talk or do -- just hear me. Advice is cheap; twenty cents will get you both, Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper.

And I can do for myself. I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and falter, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.

But when you accept as a simple fact, that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling.

And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them.

Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes, for some people -- because God is mute, and He/She doesn't give advice, or try to fix things.

'They' just listen, and let you work it out for yourself. So please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn --

I'll listen to you.

How To Survive the Business of Living

• Real is the person who does not define happiness as an absence of problems. Surviving this business of living is a difficult ordeal at times. How can we retain a healthy sense of humor and experience a sense of balance in our lives ? How can we realistically and yet with a sense of wonder live fully and not just survive ? How can we maybe even celebrate this business of living ? To answer some of these questions we will focus on seven points.
• Life Isn't Fair
  No matter how good we get at this business of living, none of us gets out of it alive. Frustrating, isn't it ! Life doesn't always deal us a good hand and doing our best doesn't always pay off with a positive.
• Suffering
  Growth is seldom easy and pain is an integral part of our human condition. Everybody hurts. It's just that some of us are better actors in hiding the pain we feel. Seldom if ever ... are all of our ducks in a row.
• Loneliness and Alikeness
  Dr. Albert Schweitzer said, "We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness." We have all known moments of apartness and empty loneliness. Embracing that reality is essential if we are to cope effectively.
• Personal Responsibility
  We each have a choice to be either a death- peddler or a life-giver. We are responsible for the choices we make. We can become most of what we wish to be if we are willing to change and pay the price.
• Self Worth
  A poster reads, "God don't make junk." People are special and each is, "Beautiful in his/her own way." We are more than our accomplishments !
• People Need People
  Life is not meant to be lived in isolation. All of life occurs within relationships. We need to know we are needed and so do those we need.
• Mystery
  Life is not just one big problem to be solved. Rather, it is a mystery to be experienced, all the more meaningful and beautiful when it is shared and celebrated with other persons who are committed to "growing deep, not just tall !"

(Karen Kaiser Clark, The Center For Executive Planning)

How To Love Yourself

• Stop All Criticism - Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
• Don't Scare Yourself - Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
• Be Gentle And Kind And Patient - Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.
• Be Kind To Your Mind - Self hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.
• Praise Yourself - Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
• Support Yourself - Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
• Be Loving To Your Negatives - Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now, you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So, lovingly release the old negative patterns.
• Take Care Of Your Body - Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.
• Mirror Work - Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: "I love you, I really love you."
• Love Yourself .. Do It Now - Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now -- and do the best you can.

(Louise L. Hay)

My Declaration of Self Esteem

I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me.

Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it --

I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.

I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me.

By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know --

but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me.

If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do.

I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.

(From Self Esteem by Virginia Satir )

Our Deepest Fear

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous ? Actually, who are you not to be ? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. You are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within you. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

(Attributed to Nelson Mandella)

How To Be Unhappy

Make little things bother you. Don't just let them, MAKE them.

Lose you perspective on things and keep it lost: don't put first things first.

Get yourself a good worry, one about which you cannot do anything.

Be a perfectionist, which means not that you work hard to do your best, but that you condemn yourself and others for not achieving perfection.

Be right. Be always right. Be the only one who is always right, and be rigid in your rightness.

Don't trust or believe people, or accept them at anything but their worst and weakest. Be suspicious. Insist that others always have hidden motives.

Always compare yourself unfavorably to others. This guarantees instant misery.

Take personally everything that happens to you.

Don't give yourself whole-heatedly to anyone or anything.

Laws Of Success

Do you want something ? -- Will you pay the price ?

The great sin -- Gossip.

The great cripple -- Fear.

The greatest mistake -- Giving up.

The most satisfying experience -- Doing your duty first.

The best action -- Keep the mind clear and judgment good.

The greatest blessing -- Good health.

The biggest fool - The man who lies to himself.

The great gamble -- Substituting hope for facts.

The most certain thing in life -- Change.

The greatest joy -- Being needed.

The cleverest man -- The one who does what he thinks is right.

The most potent force -- Positive thinking.

The greatest opportunity -- The next one.

The greatest thought -- God.

The greatest victory -- Victory over self.

The best play -- Successful work.

The greatest handicap -- Egotism.

The most expensive indulgence -- Hate.

The most dangerous man -- The liar

The most ridiculous trait -- False pride.

The greatest loss -- Loss of self confidence.

The greatest need -- Common sense.

(Jack Yianitsas, Laws Of Success)

Claim Your Freedom

Freedom is not a destination. It's a journey.

You need to be free to choose the right road for yourself. The right road is the one that leads to your best. All that matters is that you end up a free person - free to decide where you want to go and how you intend to get there.

The method is simple: act freely and freedom will be yours. Because being free is being real, if you want to be free, you need to make friends with the truth.

No matter how clearly you can point to forces blocking you, the most important obstacles to you freedom are within.

You are the one who permits obstacles to block your path. While being stuck is frustrating, it also keeps you from risking, safe from failure and from discovering your weaknesses and shortcomings. Your prison is always your choice. To break free, you have to give up whatever security being bound offers.

You should be able to face the present without the emotions of the past intruding. In the end you're only as free as you are in your heart. Your freedom lies just behind your forgiving. When you free yourself, you also free the world.

I am free.
I declare It.

Attitude

The longer I live
The more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than the past,
Than education,
Than money,
Than circumstances,
Than failures,
Than success,
Than what other people think or say or do.

It is more important than appearance,
Giftedness or skill.
It will make or break an organization,
A school, a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day
Regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past.
We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do
Is play the string we have.
And that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me
And 90 percent how I react to it.
And so it is with you.

(Charles Swindell)

God's Days

There are two days in the week upon which and about which I never worry -- two carefree days kept sacredly free from fear and apprehension. One of these days is Yesterday. Yesterday, with its cares and fret and pains and aches, all its faults, its mistakes and blunders, has passed forever beyond my recall. It was mine; it is God's.

The other day that I do not worry about is Tomorrow. Tomorrow, with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its perils, its large promise and performance, its failures and mistakes, is as far beyond my mastery as its dead sister, Yesterday. Tomorrow is God's day; it will be mine.

There is left, then, for myself but one day in the week - Today. Any man can fight the battles of today. Any woman can carry the burdens of just one day; any man can resist the temptation of today. It is only when we willfully add the burden of these two awful eternities - Yesterday and Tomorrow - such burdens as only the Mighty God can sustain - that we break down.

It isn't the experience of Today that drives men mad. It is the remorse of what happened Yesterday and fear of what Tomorrow might bring. These are God's Days ... Leave them to Him.

(Robert J. Burdette)

On Letting Go

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in may hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.

To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less, and love more.

Fair Fighting

Generally we think of fights as unpleasant confrontations between two or more people where tempers flare, voices are raised, and angry insults are exchanged. Fights need not be this way. They are normal and necessary in most relationships, but dirty, unfair fights only result in bitterness, distrust, and feelings of revenge.

Clean, fair fights, on the other hand, are confrontations where disagreements and grievances are dealt with according to a specific set of rules. At the end of a fair fight most people feel refreshed and relieved because a sensitive issue has been settled in a constructive way.

The following rules must be observed when conducting a clean, fair fight:

• No hitting below the belt -- purposely calling attention to known weaknesses or sensitive areas.
• No false agreements -- pretending to go along or to agree when you don't.
• No character analysis or psycho-analyzing -- telling a person what they are thinking, feeling, or why they acted as they did.
• No stereotyping -- labeling or name calling.
• No gunny sacking -- saving up minor grievances and dumping them all at once rather than dealing with them one at a time as they occur.
• No playing archaeologist -- digging up past happenings.
• Don't generalize -- using statements such as "You always ..." or "You never ..." to describe a person's behavior.
• Stick to the issue -- dealing with only one issue at a time.
• Don't drop "the bomb" -- over-reacting to a situation and making idle threats; giving an ultimatum.
• Avoid "round robin" fights -- continuing with repetitive, stale arguments where no progress is being made toward conflict resolution.

The purpose of arguments and conflict is to resolve difficulties or solve problems, not to assign blame or to find fault. Do not keep score. Do not lecture. Differentiate between behavior and being. Treat everyone with regard and respect. Do not judge the perceptions and feelings of others. Accept differences. And don't forget the best part of all fights -- making up afterwards. Making up is an essential part to complete resolution.

A Start

Each day, I promise myself not to try to solve all my life problems at once -- nor shall I expect you to do so;

Starting each day, I shall try to learn something new about me and about you and about the world I live in, so that I may continue to experience all things as if they had been newly born;

Starting each day, I shall remember to communicate my joy as well as my despair, so that we can know each other better;

Starting each day, I shall remind myself to really listen to you and to try to hear your point of view and to discover the least-threatening way of giving you mine, remembering that we are both growing and changing in a hundred different ways;

Starting each day, I shall remind myself that I am a human being and not demand perfection of you until I am perfect, so you're safe;

Starting each day, I shall try to be more aware of the beautiful things in our world -- I'll look at the flowers, I'll look at the birds, I'll look at the children, I'll feel the cool breezes, I'll eat good food -- and I'll share these things with you;

Starting each day, I shall remind myself to reach out and touch you, gently, with my words, my eyes and with my fingers, because I don't want to miss feeling you;

Starting each day, I shall dedicate myself again to the process of being a lover -- and then see what happens;

You know, I'm really convinced that if you were to define love, the only word big enough to engulf it all would be "Life" -- LOVE IS LIFE -- in all its aspects ... And if you miss love, you miss life !

Please don't !

(Leo Buscaglia)

A Practical Guide to Life

There is reason and purpose and harmony in the Universe. We are a part of all that, and a great amount of our work in this life is to learn that lesson.

We define life in terms of our body. You may like or hate your body, but it is the mechanism that defines what we call life. Most of us start out believing that we are our body, and it takes considerable effort on our part to overcome the complications of that misunderstanding.

We are here to learn lessons. That is what life is about. Each day we will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or you may think them stupid or irrelevant.

There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error experimentation. The experiences that we label failures are as valuable a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately work.

A lesson is repeated until it is learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have completely learned a lesson, you will then go on to the next one.

Learning lessons does not end. This is what life is about; as long as there is life, there are lessons.

What you make of this life is up to you. You already have everything you will ever need to learn your lessons. There is nothing you have to do first.

Every thing you experience in life is neutral. The only value of anything outside yourself is determined by the way you experience it.

When you have learned that lesson, it will be a powerful tool you can use to set up more lessons.

The Universe will bring you everything you need to learn your lessons. The value of your experiences is determined by you. The Universe will never bring you more than you can handle.

What you do with those resources is up to you. Whether your choice is to learn or to fail, the Universe will support your choice, and bring whatever you need to manifest it.

Whatever you choose, EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY !!! From time to time, you will forget this.

(Charles Fitzsimmons )

Life's Little Instructions

• Every so often you push your luck.
  
• Never underestimate the power of a kind word or deed.
  
• Never give up on anybody -- miracles happen every day.
  
• Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
  
• Learn to listen.
  
• Think big thoughts, but relish small pleasures.
  
• Don't expect others to listen to your advice or ignore your example.
  
• Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly.
  
• Leave everything a little better than you found it.
  
• Don't forget: a person's emotional need is to feel appreciated.
  
• Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
  
• Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
  
• Make new friends but cherish the old ones.
  
• Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.
  
• Judge your success by the degree that you're enjoying peace, health, and love.
  
• Smile a lot: it costs nothing and is beyond price.

The Principles of Attitudinal Healing

• The essence of our being is Love.
• Health is inner peace.
• Healing is letting go of fear.
• Giving and receiving are the same.
• We can let go of the past and of the future.
• Now is the only time there is and each instance is for giving.
• We can learn to love ourselves and others by forgiving rather than judging.
• We can become love finders rather than fault finders.
• We can choose and direct ourselves to the happy inside regardless of what is happening outside.
• We are students and teachers to each other.
• We can focus on the whole of life rather than the fragments.
• Since love is eternal, death need not be viewed as fearful.
• We can always perceive others as either extending love or giving a call for help.

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals, or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine and your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with JOY, mine or your own: if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself: if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday, and if you can source your life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours or mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "YES!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

(Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Confessions of a Spiritual Thrill seeker)

Prayer For Peace

Lord,

make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek

to be console, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying

that we are born to eternal life.

(Prayer For Peace - St. Francis of Assisi)

Today

Mend a quarrel. Search out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a love letter. Share some treasure. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in a word or deed.

Keep a promise. Find the time. Forego a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Listen. Apologize if you were wrong. Try to understand. Flout envy. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Appreciate, be kind, be gentle. Laugh a little more.

Deserve confidence. Take up arms against malice. Decry complacency. Express your gratitude. Worship your God. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love. Speak it again. Speak it still again. Speak it still once again.

Napoleon was involved in conversation with a colonel of a Hungarian battalion who had been taken prisoner in Italy. The colonel mentioned he had fought in the army of Maria Theresa. "You must have a few years under your belt!" exclaimed Napoleon. "I'm sure I've lived sixty or seventy years," replied the colonel. "You mean to say," Napoleon continued, "you have not kept track of the years you have lived?"

The colonel promptly replied, "Sir, I always count my money, my shirts, and my horses - but as for my years, I know nobody who wants to steal them, and I shall surely never lose them."

It Couldn't Be Done

Somebody said that it couldn't be done,
But he with a chuckle replied
That maybe it couldn't, but he would be one
Who wouldn't say so "till he tried."
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried, he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it.

Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that;
At least no one ever has done it."
But he took off his coat and took off his hat
And the first thing he knew he'd begun it.
With the lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
There are thousands to prophesy failure;
There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,
The dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle right in with a bit of a grin,
Then take off your coat and go to it;
Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing
That cannot be done, and you'll do it.

Edgar A. Guest